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October 04, 2006

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Comments

Katie

Hey Sara. Great job. You covered a lot in a relatively short post, making it easy for the reader to stay focused. I saw a few places for improvement. The first thing I noticed was that you don't have a picture of the painting. I think the picture is really important to include because that is the basis of this post and we have to assume that the reader has never seen the painting. Second, you may want to proof read a bit more. There a few places without periods and the word choice doesn't make sense. For example in paragraph two first sentence, "resulted" should be resulting. Also in paragraph two "This allowed for mainly for coastal and international markets." I know these are minor errors but they do make a difference especially in the way the post flows. Lastly I think you could have talked more about the Native Americans. You talked a lot about what was transpiring around them but not directly addressing them much and that is what the painting was of.

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